UnNews:Obama takes first step toward losing presidential election
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Obama takes first step toward losing presidential election
The one that Univisión did not buy out
Thursday, September 29, 2016, 15:23:UTC)(
16 January 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
WASHINGTON - Democratic Sen. Barack Obama bin Laden on Tuesday took the initial step toward being the latest in a long line of Democratic presidential candidates backed by the party elite but with no chance in hell of winning broad popular support or the election.
Osama filed papers creating a presidential campaign failure exploratory committee, a move he announced on his Web site, http://www.assblasters.com. He said he would announce more about his plans in his home state of Illinois on Feb. 10.
"I'll probably run, but seriously... there's no way I can win," Obamama said in a video posting. "I guess I represent some kind of one-man melting pot, the kind of thing rich Democrats just love. They're completely out of touch with regular voters, though, and I expect to get my ass handed to me."
Osama Hussein bin Laden Hitler, a 45-year-old with little more than two years into his Senate term, is the most inexperienced candidate considering a run for the Democratic nomination. He quickly rose to national prominence, beginning with his keynote speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and his election to the Senate that year, but still is just basically another God-talking negroid to most voters.
Two best-selling autobiographies have helped fill in the gaps but have still only touched a fraction of the public, since most people don't read.
Nonetheless, he somehow ranks as a top contender, due mostly the large amount of expensive publicity he gets, which is funded by a lot of people you don't know.
His appeal to rich liberals, his unique background, his opposition to the Iraq war and the fact that he is a fresh face set him apart in a competitive race that also is expected to include front-runner Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York.
Laughing Republicans have yet to announce who the next president will actually be, but Jeb Bush is already picking out china patterns.