UnNews:Obama refers to Poles as "Nazis"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Obama refers to Poles as "Nazis"
Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out
Thursday, March 23, 2017, 00:48:UTC)(
29 May 2012
COLESLAW, POLAND – President Barack Obama, who once claimed to have campaigned in all “fifty seven” states, has proved, once again, that he doesn't know much about geography (or history or the English language). In a bone-headed attempt to honor a Polish citizen's courage during
The Big One World War II, Obama referred to a concentration camp constructed by Nazis who occupied Poland during the war as “a Polish death camp.”
“If he knew anything about the war, about the Nazis, about Poland's occupation by the Nazis during the war, or which end is up, he would never have made such a horrendous and horribly insulting mistake—if a mistake it was,” Poland's Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski lamented, calling for an immediate “apology,” a $20 million increase in U. S. foreign aid, and Obama's “impeachment.”
Sikorski is no fan of Vice-President Joe Biden, the foreign minister said, “but even he, as big a clown and ignoramus as he is, is preferable to what Americans elected to represent—or to misrepresent—them. He's an embarrassment to his country, a disgrace to his race, and a disaster to foreign relations.”
“And they say I misspeak!” Biden remarked, eyes twinkling.
The president had been trying to honor a famous Pole, Jan Karski, by bestowing upon him the United States' highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, when he allegedly misspoke, citing Karski's courage and heroism in infiltrating Poland's “Coleslaw ghetto and a Polish death camp to see for himself” the genocide “his people” were “committed to committing against the God-forsaken Jews.”
Several of the president's aides whispered corrections to him. “It's Warsaw, not Coleslaw,” one hissed. “It's 'Nazi death camp,' not 'Polish death camp,'” another coached the president. “And it's not 'God-forsaken Jews,'” a third insisted. “It's the chosen people, the Jews.'”
Obama's press secretary,
Robert Gibbs Jay Carney, blamed the “unfortunate mistake,” which Sikorski characterized as “an international incident,” on the president's faulty teleprompter. “Everyone knows the president is a great reader but a horrible impromptu speaker. Had his teleprompter not been out of commission, such a gaffe would never have happened.”
Not since the commander-in-chief mispronounced “corpsman” as “corpse-man” has there been as much hullabaloo as that which resulted from Obama's latest garbling of the English language. "Bush was a better speaker," some Democratic insiders admit.
“And they say I misspeak!” Biden remarked, clearly delighted.
“Nothing annoys Poles as much as our being blamed for the crimes of our Nazi occupiers,” the Polish foreign minister said. “Somebody needs to give Obama a few lessons in geography, history, and political science. Better yet, he should be impeached.”
Privately, according to Biden, who asked to remain anonymous, the president blames white people. “Nazi, Pole, or Jew—what's the difference?” Obama is alleged to have remarked, “White people all look alike.”
Carney reminded reporters that Obama has publicly praised Poles for their resistance to their Nazi occupiers and for their attempts to save “gays” and other “worthwhile people.” (Obama recently outed himself as homosexual, and he has since applauded other nations for their support, past and present, for the “same-sex agenda” and gays' members.)
The Polish media are not placated by Obama's press secretary's mea culpa. They insist that Obama's “character assassination” is “scandalous.” They have called upon the president to “admit his mistake and apologize for it like a man.” “The pansy owes that to Karski and the many other other brave Poles who risked their lives to stop the Nazi holocaust.”
“The president is taking their outrage under advisement,” Carney told American reporters. “Whatever he decides to do, you can rest assured, it will be the most politically expedient course of action possible under the circumstances.”
“And they say I misspeak!” Biden crowed.