UnNews:Obama opts for "Nancy" solution to ISIS

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Obama opts for "Nancy" solution to ISIS

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20 October 2014

NancySinatraBoots01

Nancy Sinatra and her boots in their heyday.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama has opted to put "boots on the ground" after all, calling on veteran singer Nancy Sinatra to donate her old boots to "throw at the fanatics."

The move is an "evolving policy" after Obama's signature reluctance to put American boots on the ground, in the wake of pressure for doing nothing against the Islamic fanatics. Sinatra's old Top 40 hit, These Boots Are Made for Walking, will be blasted through loudspeakers as the old footwear is dropped on ISIS.

"We know the fanatics hate women and music, and regard throwing old boots and shoes at an enemy as a gross insult," said Obama at a press conference. "I see this as an effective way of dealing with these bloodthirsty Twitter account abusers. Ms. Sinatra has agreed to donate her old boots and we think this is a more effective way of upsetting our enemies."

The boots will be dropped on ISIS positions across Iraq and Syria. Since they'll be women's footwear, it is unlikely that any terrorist will want to use them to military advantage.

If the Americans run out of Nancy Sinatra's boots, the U.S. Army has contracted with the government of the Philippines to use Imelda Marcos's confiscated shoe collection as a backup.

Political analysts said the move marks a sea-change from the prior administration, during which the President was the recipient of thrown footwear.

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