|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
16 July 2008
Conservatives were for the most part, too shocked to reply.
"WHAT?!!" Said Fox News reported Ted Zingits.
"WHAT?!" said San Diego Mayor Les Newman.
"OOOH My heaaart!" said Conservative Radio Talk Show Host Rush Limbaugh, as he was whisked away to Dallas Memorial Medical Center. His agent reports that he is in "stable condition, though babbling-and his troponin test came back high.".
San Francisco man-on-the-street Reporter David Schnell interview several Liberals: "Of course we are staying in Iraq-we NEED to. We need to HELP those poor, innocent people! They've only just now begun to trust us and like us. I in fact, am volunteering at a canned food drive this week to send canned food and non-perishable goods, along with shoes and other clothing items to my needy brother Iraquis." Wanda Loveheart said "It is different now, now that we have a Democrat in office. We are only there to protect and to teach and to encourage. The tanks are just a way of protecting supplies as they are being delivered to the poor needed men and women and children of Iraq."
A willowy Art Major Valorie Atlantis summed up the current situation; "Look, before it was a completely different situation. We had a Republican President in office, tanks and troops on the ground, and American men dying. Now we have a Democrat President in office, tanks and troops on the ground, and American men dying. Can't you see? We're there to help the Iraquis."