UnNews:Obama is "too X-Treme" says GOP
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Obama is "too X-Treme" says GOP
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Monday, January 16, 2017, 12:54:UTC)(
24 April 2008
Raleigh, North Carolina -- The Republican Party of North Carolina has published an ad apparently meant to make Barack Obama, their likely opponent in November, less appealing to elderly, conservative white women. Above images such as this one, of Obama skating with professional boarder Jeremy Wright (right), an ominous voice narrates:
"Barack Obama claims that he's a political moderate. Yet he associates himself with some of the most extreme men in the country. This man is Jeremy Wright, professional skateboarder. In this image, he is performing one of the most outrageous, hairiest stunts known to man. Would a moderate attempt this gnarly 360 No Comply Shove-It to Boneless? Barack Obama: Too X-treme for North Carolina. Too X-treme for America."
Noted BMX enthusiast John McCain was nonplussed by his own party's endorsement of his likely challenger.
"We asked them not to run it," McCain told reporters on his campaign bus in Kentucky Wednesday. "I'm sending them an e-mail as we speak asking them to take it down."
We contacted Barack Obama as he was leaping a swimming pool full of broken glass and hot sauce on a flaming skateboard.
"The Republicans have confused my stunts with policies," said the likely Democratic nominee. "This is part of the politics of personal destruction, and it will not stand. While it is true that my tricktionary is both sick and off the hook, my foreign policy toward Utah, for example, is almost entirely Constitutional."
When pressed, the junior Illinois senator declined to elaborate: "I've said too much already."