UnNews:Obama critics compare U. S. to Titanic
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
30 May 2013
WHITEWASHington, DC – Under the Obama administration, the ship of state has been likened to the Titanic, and, critics contend, the scandals that have rocked the ship are “just the tip of the iceberg.”
“I've never seen anything like the sideshow that politics has become with Obama in office,” Senator Harry Reid admitted. “Ms. Lerner, the head of the IRS unit that awards or withholds tax-exempt status to political organizations on the basis of nepotism, cronyism, and political correctness, assures Congress she's committed no crimes and then pleads the Fifth Amendment to protect herself against incriminating herself, and, even after Obama fires acting IRS Commissioner Steven Miller, he hangs on, coming into the office to 'help out' his replacement, saying 'He's new on the job and hasn't learned the finer points of government service yet, but I'll make sure he learns how it's done in Washington.'”
Miller admitted that, under his leadership, the Infernal Revenue Service provided “poor customer service,” but he “feels confident” that, in administering Obamacare, “the service will improve, from the government's point of view.” Nevertheless, it is beyond question, he insisted, that the IRS “never targeted anyone.” Its handling of tax-exempt applications was, instead, merely “obnoxious” and “incompetent.”
Some critics contend that the actions of Lerner and Miller constitute an unconstitutional attempt to cover up a deliberate attempt, on the Obama administration's part, to silence the president's political enemies and to intimidate conservative organizations from exercising their Constitutional rights to free association, free assembly, and free speech. “They also wanted to discourage political contributions from wealthy conservatives and independents,” “Bush's Brain,” Carl Rove claims.
“Obama, the nation's first black president, has proved adept at whitewashing the scandals of his own making,” Nancy Pelosi said, “whether the scandal involves the assassinations of American in Benghazi, the IRS' abuse of the political process and citizens' constitutional rights, the president's promotion of the gay lifestyle, the Department of Injustice's wire-tapping of the Associated Press, the labeling of a Fox News reporter as a co-conspirator against the Espionage Act, Obama's use of drones to kill innocent American citizens, or the administration's ignoring of hate crimes against white people, such as the Black Panthers' attempt to intimidate voters of “the Caucasian persuasion” during Obama's first run for the presidency, way back when. For a black man, he really knows how to discriminate!”
Among organizations whose applications for tax-free status were rejected by Lerner's unit are the Sierra Club, the Boy Scouts of America, American Family Group, The American Red Cross, Americans Against Pedophilia, and God, Country, and Mom's Apple Pie.
Recipients of tax-exempt status, on the other hand, include Greenpeace, Gay Men Scouting Boys, Pedophiles For Freedom, and Atheists Against God, Country, and Mom's Apple Pie.
Critics of “the Obama Oligarchy” [look it up, people!] remind the faithful that “although, with the support of a fawning mainstream media, the Obama administration might seem as unsinkable as the Titanic, it has definitely struck an iceberg of corruption and scandal that is likely to sink the Democratic Party, if not the president.”