UnNews:Obama announces iPad, Jobs pledges jobs; officials awkwardly switch teleprompters
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Obama announces iPad, Jobs pledges jobs; officials awkwardly switch teleprompters
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Tuesday, September 1, 2015, 03:42:UTC)(
28 January 2010
SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced a sweeping new fiscal reform plan to curb rising deficits, freeze government spending, and foster small business growth at a corporate press conference this afternoon. Jobs, with an estimated net worth of $5.1 billion, shocked the tech industry by pledging $8 billion for education grants. Insiders widely expected Apple to use its keynote event to promote a revolutionary tablet computer designed to surf the web, play videos, and send email. Tech blog TechCrunch credits Jobs' bold announcement with Apple's early decision to preempt President Obama's State of the Union address for later that day.
Meanwhile, at his State of the Union address in Washington, President Obama unveiled the iPad, the widely and wildly anticipated tablet-style computer from Apple, before awkwardly realizing his teleprompter speech had been switched accidentally with Apple CEO Steve Jobs' speech from earlier that day. President Obama was unable to finish his remarks, instead choosing to stand awkwardly in front of an assembled joint session of Congress while cracking jokes about the preceding day's cafeteria food to lighten the atmosphere. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs declined to speculate on the mishap, adding only that "we promise a make-up State of the Union address some time tomorrow 30 minutes before class starts."
Spokespeople from Apple and the White House refused to comment on the mix-up. Sources close to both companies indicate Jobs and Obama accidentally exchanged speeches at a chance hash bar meeting during the Copenhagen climate change summit.