UnNews:Nude images of Robert Mugabe surface
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Nude images of Robert Mugabe surface
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, February 9, 2016, 14:23:UTC)(
20 January 2013
"Why is our president taking nude images of himself?" asked one concerned Zimbabwean citizen who preferred to remain anonymous. "Perhaps the rumors of Mugabe's homosexuality are true. I always thought is relationship with Canaan Banana was a bit too close, if you know what I mean." As a note to our international readers, Mr. Banana was president of Zimbabwe from 1980-1987, when Mugabe was his Prime Minister and before Zimbabwe became the laughing stock of Africa. Mr. Banana was convicted on charges of sodomy in 1999.
Political analysts have suggested that the scandal may result in the end of Mugabe's 26 year presidency. "The populace of Sub-Saharan Africa, with a few exceptions, has a different viewpoint of government than many in the west. The typical African is more deferential than the average North American or European. For example, many Africans will vote for whoever is in charge, or whoever their tribal leader supports, because they believe it is their duty to support their leader. In practical terms, this means that Africans have a greater tolerance for inefficient or corrupt government," said one political scientist.
"However, it is unlikely that the people of Zimbabwe will tolerate as homosexual as president. Therefore, it is quite likely that Mugabe will be overthrown or assassinated by the end of 2013. Assuming, of course, that he doesn't die of prostate cancer or other natural causes before an assassin's bullet can kill him," he continued.
Mugabe wife, Grace Mugabe, has reported fled the country and filed for divorce. Some have speculated that Mrs. Mugabe is fleeing Zimbabwe while she still has the opportunity, in order to avoid the fate of Elena Ceausescu or Marie Antoinette. However, a source close to Mrs. Mugabe dismissed such rumors, "Mrs. Mugabe is not running away from her homeland of Zimbabwe. Her recent divorce is merely due to her desire not to be married to a filthy sodomite."