UnNews:Now is the time, Pow right to the Moon!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Now is the time, Pow right to the Moon!

Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!

UnNews Logo Potato
Monday, March 19, 2018, 10:15:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

18 June 2009
Pow, to the Moon Alice!


Alice Kramden, finally goes to the Moon.

CAPE CARNIVALE, Florida -- NASA today decided to take Ralph Kramden's advice and sent his wife Alice to the Moon. On a mission to find ice, aka frozen water that can be used to fuel future Moon bases. More importantly the Hydrogen3 isotope needed for nuclear fuel for power plants.

Ralph Kramden is a cranky bus driver from Gotham City, home of Batman and other super heroes and villains. He always had a hard time controlling his temper and would often threaten his wife Alice with phrase like "one of these days...Pow! Right to the MOON!" With dreams that one day, his wife Alice would end up on the Moon. Under the Barack Obama administration, NASA was glad to grant Mr. Kramden his wish and send his wife to the Moon. Alice Kramden received astronaut training and flight control school in order to qualify for the mission.

Alice Kramden was quoted as saying "I was glad to finally get away from my emotionally abusive husband, we've been married since the 1950's and he's always gotten into trouble some way or another. At least this way I can finally get some peace from that beast, and do a space mission for my country. In space, I can no longer hear Ralph yell at me anymore, and I enjoy the silence and peace of mind."

This was a chance for NASA to test out the (Atlas but not least) Ares rocket which is designed to replace the aging space shuttle, and the old Apollo rockets. The Atlas rocket is state of the art technology, while the Space Shuttle still ran on an Intel 386 with MS-DOS and Windows for Workgroups 3.11. The new Ares rocket uses a quad core Intel processor and Linux which is a first for NASA.

Mrs. Kramden will operate a fully state of the art scanning system to search areas of the Moon for ice, water, hydrogen3, and other things. NASA had originally planned for a Moonbase Alpha that should have been finished by 1999, but fears of a nuclear explosion that could send the Moon sailing off past light speeds caused NASA to delay that until technology was more advanced to prevent such a problem. More research and development will need to be done before a Moon base can be established.

edit Sources

Personal tools