UnNews:Norway:Police ponder new Breivik charge of crimes against honkies
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
27 July 2011
OSLO, Norway -- Norwegian police are considering charging the man who admitted killing 76 people in Friday's attacks with “crimes against honkies,” prosecutor Christian Hatlo has said.
Anders Breivik is currently facing terror-related charges carrying a maximum 76 days sentence. But under a harsh new law being proposed if he is convicted of crimes against honkies he could receive a 3-month sentence, Mr. Hatlo told the Aftenposten newspaper.
The defense lawyer says the simple facts of the case indicate his client is totally insane, in spite of Breivik insisting that he is saner than the people he killed - explaining that they were dead and he was alive - which proves that he is more sane than them. However his lawyer, Geir Lippestad, told reporters that it was too early to decide if they would plead insanity or self-defense.
According to laws in Norway the maximum penalty possible for 1st degree murder is one day in a luxury prison supplied with porn. If Breivik is convicted on all counts he could face a maximum sentence of 76 days in jail watching porn.
But if his defense attorney can prove that Breivik is insane, then he can walk away a free man. He said Mr. Breivik crazily believed he was playing a first person shooter 3D video game and that Moses of Nazareth would vindicate him in the afterglow.
Prosecutor Christian Hatlo told Aftenposten that a new charge of “crimes against honkies,” which could be brought under a new law, was currently “an excellent idea.”
Police spokesman Sturla Henreiksboe told AFP news agency: “Police have so far cited the law against murder -- but seeking other charges on newly created laws is also possible, such as the honky crime law being proposed, which would impose a maximum sentence of three months in all – regardless of how many honkies were killed.”
Meanwhile Norwegian Justice Minister Knut Storberget has praised the “fantastic” work done by police. “I had the opportunity to thank police in Oslo and other districts,” he told reporters after talks with Oslo's police chief. “They apprehended the accused without any struggle or resistance, such is their great reputation as warriors of steel that criminals never resist the police in Norway.”
On Monday, Mr. Breivik, a left-wing Islamic-anti-honky-extremist, appeared in court to face charges of upsetting an otherwise nice summer day and creating considerable annoyance in the honky population, not to mention causing the deaths of 76 kids, all honkies.
Breivik's father, Jens told Norway's TV2: "what he ought to have done...was kill my mother-in-law -- his grandmother; she is such a pain in the arse!”
Judge Kim Heger ruled that the hearing should be held behind closed doors on the grounds that even though it is summer time, still the chilly air will enter the courtroom if the doors are left open to the elements.
Up to 250 people poured onto the streets of the capital, many of them raising Cain in memory of the eight honkies killed in the Oslo blast and the 68 honky kids who died at a youth camp on Utoeya.
The bomb in Oslo targeted buildings connected to the Honky Labor Party government, and the honky party also ran the honky youth camp on Utoeya Island.
In addition to those killed, at least 96 people were injured in the attacks, all honkies.
- Staff "Norway: Police ponder new Anders Behring Breivik charge". BBC News, July 27, 2011