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20 May 2010
The diminutive democratically elected dictator of North Korea claims that he has the right to go up against 'Uncle Sam' after beating South Korea in the previous international round of battleships. The South Koreans objected to President Kim Il sung's surprise game move to go sink one their ships the Cheonan for real. When South Korea asked for a replay, Kim Jong-il said he would order a missile attack - also for real.
This isn't the first time North Korea has attempted to change the rules of a game as they went along. In a recent game of monopoly, North Korea threatened to flatten Japan if they dared to build hotels on the squares they owned. Now North Korea has issued a challenge - and a piece of paper and pencil - to the Americans to see if they were up to 'the death struggle between Socialism and Imperialism'. This old fashioned 'analogue' approach has temporary confused the Americans who are too used to playing video games and will now have to contact retired naval veterans to make up a possible team.
In Washington news of the Kim Jong-Il's challenge is said to be at the stage of 'evaluation,consideration, mediation, inspiration..' and all other expressions to say 'We Haven't Got a Clue What To Do'. In the meantime, a 200,000 page dossier on the intricacies of 'How to Play Battleships' will be studied in sleep inducing detail.
- Kim Ber-Li Stew-Art "Are North Korea and USA to play Battleships to avert nuclear showdown?". Battleship Game Playing Today, 05 20, 2010