UnNews:North Korea shuts down key cookie factory
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North Korea shuts down key cookie factory
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 21:20:UTC)(
17 July 2007
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YONGBYON, North Korea -- The United States confirmed yesterday that North Korea had closed its controversial Yongbyon factory in a first step towards ridding the Communist state of enriched cookie production facilities.
Growing concern over the levels of Korean cookie exports to the USA, where they are a major cause of obesity and heart disease, have increased pressure on the secretive North Korean government to limit production.
But Steven Hadley, the U.S. National Obesity Advisor said "we have concerns that they may have a [covert] enrichment program."
The shutdown coincided with a visit from a 10-strong team of inspectors from the UN’s International Cake and Cookie Authority (ICACA).
Members of the Interweb community remain silent as the possibility of a dearth in cookie enrichment looms on the horizon. A somber Silent Bob, acclaimed CEO of Nabisco , told UnNews, "It is a fact that MS Windows users have the option of turning their cookies "on" and "off" at their command. Imagine if Stalinist cookie enrichment technology were to fall into the hands a group of deranged, cocaine-driven hackers with the ability to perform complex mathematical operations in their heads."