UnNews:North Korea confirms announcement, emits fart

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9 October 2006

Pyongyang -- North Korea has carried out its threat to conduct fart experiments despite opposition from the international community. This morning at 10:37am local time, technicians from the North Korean Institute for Digestive Disorder Mysteries activated a low-yield fart deep below the country's bowels under an undisclosed location, as confirmed by local sources.

"I felt a slight tremor. Then I continued to milk the cows but I saw that the milk had turned to butter", said Am Chok Ing, a farmer from a nearby village. "Then all was dark and it smelled funny."

"It had all been shrouded under top-secret veil, but now we can all see that they actually meant what they were saying", said UN official Cough-i Annan.

So far, the US Department of Defense cannot confirm nor deny whether the massive fart has been exerted upon a heap of flour. According to experts, it is extrapolated that widespread radioactive flour may disperse under the strong blast and contaminate the food in a 200-mile radius. Fears of biological war pathogens are already spreading in the wake of the gaseous release.

The President of the East Pacific Association of Bean Eating Contest Participants, Mr Cheez Cutter, sums up the general feeling in the region. "If the flour estimations are made true by the experiment, the North Koreans should brace themselves for retaliation on the same level".

NATO analysts could not be found to comment.

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