UnNews:North Korea Sends Yuletide Warning to North Pole
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!|
23 December 2006
PYONGYANG -- In a strongly worded statement today, the Rodong Sinmun, organ of the North Korean Workers' Party, said Dec. 22, "People should not be deceived by the bearded Western stooge and his offensive for 'happy holidays' but maintain a high degree of vigilance against it. The moves of the workshop warmongers to develop and introduce ultra-modern toys are limitless in their scope and have reached a reckless phase. They include video games, action figures, bicycles, and Wii."
The statement also said, "Last year, this renegade sleigh staged not only a large-scale aerial maneuver around the Korean Peninsula but also carried out an attempt to corrupt the DPRK with Western trinkets, timed to coincide with South Korean military exercises. The giftbearer's forces should be pulled back from North Korea to ensure peace and stability on the Korean Peninsula," the statement said, stressing that the U.S. is not entitled to take issue with the DPRK over its measures to reject toys.
U.S. Ambassador to South Korea Alexander Vershbow asserted that the threats were routine and meant to divert attention from North Korea's nuclear program. In a statement Saturday morning, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said the Pentagon would not rule out basing unspecified number of F-16 Fighting Falcon aircraft off the North Korean coast Sunday night to provide defensive electronic suppression.
- Burt Herman "North Korea Wants To Be Treated As A Nuclear Power". TheDay.com, December 19, 2006