UnNews:Nobel Prize Winner Still Nazi
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Nobel Prize Winner Still Nazi
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, July 27, 2017, 07:01:UTC)(
22 August 2006
WARSAW, Poland -- 1999 Nobel laureate, Günter Grass, admitted he served in Hitler’s Waffen Schutzstaffel. Only in his old age, did Herr Grass solve the conundrum concerning his service and his status as a moral and ethical leader in a Germany still fragmented by the pain of the Vergangenheitsbewältigung, literally translated, as Why did we do it?
“In the decades after the War, when everyone knew what we had done, I wasn't really scared. There was nothing to worry about. I got a lucrative book deal to try and cover up our crimes with drivel about morality and human nature."
Grass was born in Gdansk, what would become a future Ghetto, in 1927, when it was named by Danzig. This Russian port city has been in dispute betwixt Poland and Germany for centuries. Grass holds honorary citizenship in Gdansk, and the Mayor had written to Grass, asking him what he had done, so that the town could properly honor his service. Grass in turn sent a letter to the Mayor, stating:
I was blinded by their shiny uniforms, and blind idealism. Its was great, we had a lot of fun. I tried when I was 15, and at 17, I volunteered again, and without my participation, we wouldn’t have killed so many Jews.
His silence only boosted his status in the Neo-Nazi rings all over Germany. Many think it was a mistake to stay silent over his illustrious career as a member of the Waffen-SS. “I would like to thank the citizens of Gdansk for their devotion.”
Grass was a respectable soldier in the 10th SS Panzer Division, affectionately known as the "Jaegermeisters", which proudly fought the Russians on the eastern front. Grass has been respected in many circles as a moral authority in Poland, praising the Nazi’s for invading Poland and showing her the error of her ways. He always was praised by the Poles for urging them to take a retrospective look into their past crimes regarding the Nazi’s legal and moral obligation when they took over the failing Polish regime.
Grass will be making many appearances, and can been seen in many rallies across Europe.