UnNews:No more political clichés as pantomime horse operatives vote to strike

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12 May 2010

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A typical pantomime horse still at work.

BIRMINGHAM, United Kingdom -- Pantomime horse operatives are to go on strike in protest against discriminatory abuse by lazy journalists trotting out an overused cliché .

There has been growing anger by those who make their living working as pantomime horses at regular news reports referring to their profession as a joke when comparing it to British political parties making unlikely alliances. This ‘abuse’ had been recently increased following the formation of the new Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition government

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Mr Pegasus is as sick as a horse with anger..and er some free beer.

Brian Pegasus, General Secretary of the HOOFERS trades union, clip clopped up to a microphone waved in front of him to whinny on about British journalists using the caricature of a pantomime horse to describe the new British government.

"It's a bloody disgrace," Mr Pegasus neighed in between helping himself in his nose bag. "For too long my union of pantomime horses have suffered ridicule, sick jokes and general abuse for just doing our jobs. It takes dedication to agree to stick your head down inside a horse costume, next to a colleague’s bottom and go out there and entertain people."

Mr Pegasus cantered on about getting angry watching political commentators pour scorn on his profession with their ‘sneering’ mention of anything resembling a pantomime horse.

He added, "I get so livid it makes me want to toss my mane, snort and then gallop across the meadows – which is difficult if you are living in a pokey flat in Wolverhampton. Now every time I see a television programme or read a newspaper, I just see ignorant comments like 'this so-and-so arrangement is akin to a pantomime horse solution. Well I can tell you all, we've had enough. No more making the kiddies laugh at Christmas or taking part in marathons or fun runs to raise money for charity. And we will no longer supply manure for Kew Gardens either."

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How the strikers will look without their costumes.

Mr Pegasus says that a recent meeting of HOOFERS, his motion to call a strike was so popular that it beat a more moderate suggestion by a "nodding donkey mile". What exactly this industrial action would mean but Mr Pegasus hinted that he and his number 2 in the costume, Jack Equus would "go naked" and refuse to wear the costume. So far the British Media have refused not to use the cliché in future so there appears to be a stand off by both sides.

A spokesman from the BBC added, "Let's face it, what can we do without a handy metaphor like the pantomime horse? We could call it a pantomime cow but horses are always absurd if you two people running around in a costume. I hope the horses will be lead back to the waters of reality and just drink in all the irony."


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