UnNews:Nintendo World Championship Gold Cartridge found inside puppy
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Nintendo World Championship Gold Cartridge found inside puppy
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, January 21, 2017, 00:46:UTC)(
29 August 2013
SAVANNAH, Tennessee -- Today in this residential township, a young English Shepherd with a strange looking belly was found burying a bone into his owner's front-yard by a nearby pedestrian. The by-passer, Mr. Green, grew with concern about the pup, and contacted the owner of the establishment, Mrs. Turner (AKA Turnip). Shortly afterwards, the young canine was rushed to the local vet at 666 Hades Ave, where it was found that the dog, named "Patches", had swallowed a copy of the Nintendo World Championship Gold Cartridge whole. The "Holy Grail" of video-gaming was found when an X-Ray was conducted around the dogs pancreas and ribcage.
"He was acting rather quirky earlier this morning, but I was completely unaware of what my precious pooch had done, and I didn't even know this video-game existed", recalls Mrs.
Turnip Turner (aged 33). "But I am reluctant to know that my little Patches is okay".
The cartridge was removed from the interior of the dog sometime around 11:10 AM today, after a surgery lasting 80 minutes. Patches was in perfect condition and returned to his rightful owner.
The only question to be asked in the meantime, Who does this Holy Grail belong to?
The authorities are still yet to know, even though the NWC Gold Cartridge is such a rarity it is suspected to cost approximately $20,000 in price.
The mystery as to how the Cartridge even managed to fit into the dog to begin with, has been resolved by the authorities. After a thorough examination of Mrs. Turnip's residence, it was discovered that her husband had won a $21,300 bid on the popular consumer-to-consumer corporation website, eBay, for the NWC Gold Cartridge. Once the package arrived at the residence, Patches had sneaked his way into the large mailbox and unwrapped the bubble-wrap containing the sealed Cartridge. From this point on, its quite clear the Patches must have swallowed the Cartridge by extending his jawbones to a staggering 21 centimetres (8.26 inches) in length, large enough the fit the video-game into his mouth and through towards his intestines. Patches is one of few canines known to support a distended lower jawbone.
"Keep that dog on a leash, you hear me?" says Mr. Green after the English Shepherd was returned to his owner.
"We don't want that pup to end up swallowing anything else, the last thing we want to hear is that he has a duffel bag of crayons in his stomach now do we?" Herbert Chase reports.