UnNews:Nicole labelled 'fit mom'
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Nicole labelled 'fit mom'
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, March 26, 2017, 21:07:UTC)(
8 July 2008
Honolulu-born actress Nicole Kidman has been labelled a 'fit mom' by the Children's American Charity Organisation. The 41-year-old, who has starred in such hits as Penguins and has had Tom Cruise's babies, was celebrating the recent birth of her baby, Sunday Rose with Sarah Jessica Parker when Tim Goldenbruerm of CACO approached the dining-and-whining pair to announce that Nicole was in line to recieve a 'Fit Mom Of The Year' award.
Kidman said "I'm elated to recieve this news, first my children and now this award. I'm actually delighted". Jessica Parker congratulated the Hollywood celebrity through the medium of whinnying.
Goldenbruerm said: "Anybody who's been wolf-whistled whilst buying a (baby) mobile surely deserves some kind of accolade? I have full confidence in the fact that Nicole Kidman will win our spectacular on-stage, televised contest. Alongside such superstars as Jordan, Aaron Carter and Angelina Jolie, in a sudden-death competition of mental and physical contemplations, in the hope of winning it."
Whilst Kidman is preparing for the competitions in South Caroline, Sunday Rose has been placed in the capable hands of Marco Franstong, a celebrity babysitter, or babysitter of celebrities, or babysitter of celebrity's babies. Babies such as Princess Tiammi, Peaches Jr. and Bollocks of Jumanji. Marco is a highly-respected children's 'uncle' with over twenty year's experience in the celebrity children's business.
Marco said "I hate my job. I wanted to be a circus performer."
Those wanting to get tickets for the 'Fit Mom Of The Year' show will need to dress casually, love celebrities, have a loud screaming voice and possibly even be interviewed.