UnNews:New writing technique good for some, bad for others

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Tihs atrcile is prat of UnNwes, yuor suocre for up-to-the-mnitue mifsinromtaoin.

21 Agusut 2007

Dumb People
Raod cerws are arleday prtactcinig the tchenquie.

Cmarbdige, Mssauhcasttses--Rcenet Hvarrad Untivresiy sutdeis hvae swohn taht the Egnislh lgnaguae is rdealbe eevn wehn it is tlotaly fckued up. Tihs cluod be a rselut of the way Esngilh is raed, bcsueae ntavie sepkaers olny raed the frist and lsat ltteers of a wrod, and knid of hlaf-ass the rset. Or mybae its bsceaue ploepe who spaek Ensgilh are spuer asewmoe. Rgerdaelss, adiotdianl sudties piont to a ternd of ynuog pelope who cnosdeir tihs pnhemomonen to be 'wckied fckunig cool.'

Nwes of tihs wierd dvleoepnemt cusead gerat hpapnises anomg tohse who rlleay, rlaely scuk at snlelpig. Tehse idnviudlas can now ferely mses wtih the lerttes in the mddlie of any wrod whtiuot faer of bnieg rdiiclued for tiehr low itnlelingce and poor derss snese. Snice fgirunig out the frist and lsat ltteres in a wrod is so mcuh esaeir tahn mthedos of fnidnig the crrocet sllinpeg (scuh as dcioitnraeis or bneig samrt), epxtres thoezire taht the agverae IQ of Einlgsh sekpanig cmmonutieis may icnrseae up to fiteefn piotns. Tihs wlil ovbouisly laed to smiplfictiaon of the msot poitnlssely cmpeolx lnagauge konwn to man. Aonnynig sllpeing rlues wlil no lngoer be piansktanigly mimeorzied by shcoolchldiren. One emxalpe wuold be the rlue "I before E except after C" bineg rpleaced wtih "I bfoere E? Who fckuing craes?"

Crosseyed
The aevrgae dxysleic. Waht an ahssohle.
One gruop who did not shrae in the gneeral mood uspwnig brghuot aoubt by tihs rveleatoin wree the dxyslecis. Uopn raeidng the nwes realsee and a smpale of the new wrtniig, one dxysleic was haerd to rmeark "I still can't fucking read it!" Tihs may be due to the fcat taht dlysxeics see wrods bckawrads, tuhs ngeatnig the ecffet of mxniig the ltteres up rnadmoly. Or it cluod be due to the fcat taht dlsxyeics are anttetoin skeeing ahssloes who pertned to not be albe to raed so taht smoneoe wlil hug tehm. Bsatrads. In any csae, aiddtoinal resraech was prefromed in wihch the ltteres of the wrods wree mxied up, but the frist and lsat lerttes wree stwiched, hpoing to enbale the dlisexyc conmmuntiy to be albe to raed porprely. Hwoever, all of the tset sbujctes flaied to dcheiper the new txet, ctinig raesnos scuh as "The font hurt my eyes" and "Maybe I'm just retarded." At perss tmie, epxrets wree laening twrodas the scenod ecxsue.


One ntobale stebcak of tihs tehcnquie is that, smiliar to my ex-wfie, it rfeuses to prefrom oarlly. Amttepts to use tihs new wrtinig mtheod out luod in cnovrestaoin wree met wtih cnofsuioin and anegr. Sverael pepole wree artesred in dwontwon Bsoton for spusicoin of benig idoits. Hwoever msot pelope amttetpnig to tlak wtih olny the frist and lsat ltteres in thier ogrinial psoitoins smpily recieved cuotnless drity lkoos, snice peolpe ovrehaernig tihs incorheent gbbireish aussmed taht tehy wree spaeknig Frnech.

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