UnNews:New tsunami 'hardly worth getting out of bed for'
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New tsunami 'hardly worth getting out of bed for'
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, August 25, 2016, 18:41:UTC)(
28 July 2006
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"The last tsunami (on Boxing Day 2004) was huge, but this one only killed -- what is it? About 500 people?" said Jeff Baker, of Regional Conscience International Australia, as he returned from the devastated area.
"I mean, you've seen one bloated, stinking body hanging from a tree you've seen them all."
Transferring smelly clothes from a battered backpack into his washing machine, Baker, whose job was to oversee the distribution of emergency food supplies, said he was sick of having to go to Indonesia "every two fricking months".
"If it's not tsunamis or floods it's fires or earthquakes. These days I seem to be spending more time speaking Bahasa than I do speaking English. And I'm so sick of Indonesian food. Why can't they have a volcano erupt somewhere nice in the South Pacific for a change?"
"Oh well, at least I didn't have to go to Afghanistan again. That place really sucks."