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11 March 2010
SALEM, Oregon - What can a gay Libertarian Senate candidate do to generate publicity for his campaign with the understandably limited funds he has available? Oregon Senate candidate Marc Delphine has devised a brilliant, fool-proof idea: copyright infringement of popular sports team logos.
"We were in a meeting, brainstorming ideas to get my name out there without having to spend a lot of money", Delphine said. "We talked about things like having an illicit affair, but I'm already a flaming queer, so no one would really take that seriously. I mean, most people already think I'm degenerate. Someone mentioned blatantly false attack ads, but those really don't have the legs we need. Then, a volunteer came in and showed me the campaign logo he designed. It was identical to the logo of a little-known NHL team, the Columbus Blue Jackets. I said, that's perfect!"
Despite the fact that as sports teams go, the Columbus Blue Jackets are more obscure than even the Libertarian Party itself, somehow the plan has been an overwhelming success. "I mean, it isn't as though we stole the Cincinnati Reds logo, but look at how this thing has blown up. My name is on sports blogs and news web sites everywhere."
When asked about copyright infringement, Delphine was adamant. "Look, as a Libertarian, I believe that copyright law is just another big government fiasco. The government should stay out of my affairs." When reminded that this is a government affair, as he is running for a seat in the government, he silently referred the question to the large sign on the wall stating, No questions about the Libertarian paradox allowed!
- Greg Wyshynski "Libertarians have no respect for the law, marriage, or obscure hockey franchises". Yahoo! Sports, March 11, 2010