UnNews:New pope elected and takes the name of Pope John Paul III
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
New pope elected and takes the name of Pope John Paul III
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Thursday, July 27, 2017, 03:01:UTC)(
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
16 October 2063
AVIGNON, France - Cardinal Karol Wojtyła of Warsaw was elected today as the second Polish-born Pope of Rome. (The first one was Pope John Paul II who died in 2005). The multilingual Wojtyła succeeds ultra-liberal Pope Benedict XX who died in September 2063.
Cardinal Wojtyła was born on May 13, 2005. Because of his affinity for the policies of John Paul II (and, as rumours have it, because of the unusual coincidence of being born 40 days after John Paul II's death), Cardinal Wojtyła has chosen the name John Paul III as papal name.
The new pope has indicated that he wishes to put the Catholic Church back onto a more conservative footing. He has pledged to allow celibate men and women to become priests (rather than just married men and women, under current practice) and to add abstinence to the list of permitted birth control methods.
- Monsignor Guissepe Malevolente "Pope, Pope, who's got the Pope?". The Vatican Gossip, October 27, 2006
|List of Popes|
George Ringo I