UnNews:New laws added to UK charter
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New laws added to UK charter
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, May 25, 2015, 22:47 (UTC)
22 December 2007
The U.K. Earth, well that is debatable but lets not get into that. Today, a set of 8 new laws were added to the long list of laws in the UK. When asked why, the Prime Minister said, "We added the new laws to show the world how rich and famous we are, and that we are bigger than them, no other reason really, except....." The interview was interrupted by the assasination of a nearby ant. Anyway back to the point, here is the excerpt taken from the list:
- It is now illegal to lie, anyone caught lying, will be reported to the NLI (National lipstick institution.)
- All items must now be paid for with Chocolate money.
- Chocolate is now outlawed
- It is illegal to order Half a pound of tupany rice, and half a pound of Treacle, when in the presence of a weasel.
- Weasels are now no longer allowed to Pop.
- Suicide is now illegal, except on Sheppey
- I forget the rest.
Some are considering protesting the new laws, because foxes are still allowed to eat Pussy, of which was a cause for major concern within the UK at the moment. But no one cares any more. End of article, sorry, but my pussy is being visciously attaked by a fox.