UnNews:New blow for Britney as she 'fails' spelling test
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New blow for Britney as she 'fails' spelling test
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, June 29, 2017, 07:31:UTC)(
13 November 2007
Britney Spears has "spectacularly" failed a spelling test, it was claimed today. The result will likely have an adverse effect on her custody battle as it confirms fears that the pop princess is "thick as a vat of pig-shit". The "mad as a Chinese hatstand" singer had been ordered by an LA court to undergo mandatory spelling tests to prove that her intelligence is at a higher level than "the average gibbon".
Britney is reported to have failed a simple spelling test but her people deny the report and said that the failure was purely down to "bloody Americanisms". A source close to Britney, 25, revealed today that the air headed Spears failed to spell Potato, but the source claims that she actually spelt it in a rare English latin dialect "to prove her genius".
"Ms Spears wanted to demonstrate her knowledge of the TRUE English language and not the bastardised modern derivatives we endure today. If the powers that be choose to not recognise our mother tongue then more fool them!"
It has been reported that she spelt the word as "puttartoe", latin expert Lional Fudgewhacker was unable to decypher any latin in her spelling, "well, the actual latin for potato is actually 'potateumuarse' so I'm afraid the girl is very wide of the mark."
Spears also randomly spelt 'cucumber' as 'fuckoffanddieloosers'.