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New amoeba named after Trump

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22 January 2017


Newly honored Amoebiasis-trumpi

SAN FRANCISCO, California -- It’s not only Alec Baldwin who likes to impersonate Donald Trump. A researcher has named a newly discovered species of amoeba after the president. The life form Amoebiasis trumpi was discovered here by snowflake researcher Mohammad Nazari.

The good humored researcher-cum-possible terrorist, named the germ after the new president, in part, due to its similar ‘effect’ - "Its distinctive diarrhea immediately flagged it as a new and still unrecognized species of disease,” Nazari told Live Science.

The amoeba, a RINO, is native to New York and New Jersey, and resides along the colon wall in densely populated areas. According to the CIA, the new germ speaks fluent Russian, and an outbreak in November could affect the outcome of an election.

But it is already in serious risk of extinction as it struggles to cope with the scandal-opera Blame Stream Ministry of Truth and the “Gang of Seventeen” Alphabet Agencies, which are hell-bent on finding a cure.

“The reason for this choice of name is to bring wider public attention to the need to continue protecting fragile habitats and safe spaces in the US that still contain many undiscovered and deplorable life forms,” Nazari wrote in the journal Zookeys. “And A. trumpi has scales on its tiny head that resemble Mr. Trump’s hairstyle.”

It’s not yet known what President Trump thinks of his namesake amoeba, but considering his praise for Alec Baldwin’s impersonation of him, the amoeba could be granted immunity from medical treatment and exemption from costly research.

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