UnNews:New Zealanders freak out as space junk hits backyard

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New Zealanders freak out as space junk hits backyard

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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13 September 2006

Mud ball 3

Natives smear mud on themselves to prepare themselves for invasion

CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND - The Civil Defense Corp (CDC) of New Zealand sounded the invasion sirens in Canterbury in the afternoon yesterday, as some believed for no apparent reason.

The CDC reported that a close relative of someone's neighbor's cousin heard a sonic boom yesterday. Also a low rumble was felt, during the area's Bean-n-Cheese competion. Many were frightened and scrambled for shelter.

A random Aussie was quoted as, "oh, ya know, those stupid kiwis!"

According to NASA - "thousands of nuts, bolts, gloves and other debris from space missions form an orbiting garbage dump around Earth, presenting a hazard to spacecraft. Some of the bits and pieces scream along at 17,500 mph. But we don't believe any of them are purposefully invading New Zealand."

Aware of the threat, the U.S. Space Command monitors space debris and other objects, reporting directly to NASA and other agencies whenever there's threat of an orbital impact. "Its not likely that anything we track is intentionally targeting New Zealand," says Col. "Sparky" Davis of the U.S. Space Command.

"We stopped tracking more than 200 objects, most of them rubbish bags, that were released by the Mir space station during its first 10 years of operation. Which is probably what fell on New Zealand." commented Col. "Sparky" Davis of the U.S. Space Command.

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  • Yuri of the former KGB
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