UnNews:New York Evicted from Ground 0
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
30 January 2010
New York: Recently the City of New York was evicted from “Ground 0” for its flat refusal to provide a one billion Amero security deposit plus interest retroactive to the birth of Muhammad (c. 570 AD), and also for not permitting gambling.
Newly elected President of Zeroland, H.E. Donald Trump, was slightly taken-aback by the 9/11 bombings, before retaliating with this eviction notice to New York, as a country, a state, a city and as a people.
The Zeroland National Defense Forces are on-alert around-the-clock making sure that all traces of New York remain outside the boundaries of Ground Zero. An electric fence will soon be erected and the parameter will be surrounded by a mote full of piranhas, and a no-man-zone laced with land mines and quick-sand.
“In the immediate future people of all nationalities will need visas to enter Zeroland. - said Trump to CNN. "The new WTC (World Trade Casino) will be the largest gambling den in the world. And made with Kevlar-airplane-proof material. We'll be opening our first embassies in Monte Carlo, Macau, and Las Vegas."
The matter is going up before the Supreme Court in the landmark case, NY v/s G0. The case is expected to be the most expensive legal battle in recorded history. About the case Rudolph Giuliani was quoted:"Fuck You!!! Like I give a shit! It's still just a huge goddamn mess. You couldn't even give away free tickets! It'll take years to build the casino, and by that time the asteroid would have already struck the Atlantic. So no! Fuck it! If anyone wants to sue Ground Zero, let 'em try!"
The Court Case will be delayed because the local court room was flattened by all the WTC rubble, therefore it's hard to tell on which side of the border it was located. "Is it American or Ground Zeroan? No one should fight Trump in his own court!" - remarked Joe Cowalski, a passerby.
At present the total population of Zeroland is Zero (excluding the G0 Defense Forces who work there during the day). "I like it like this. Mine is the only country without a population problem, and no crime at all, apart from some slimy New Yorkers trying to sneak in!" concluded Trump.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|