UnNews:New York City Promotes Wee consumption
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.|
10 July 2007
THE CITY OF New York is trying to persuade its people to give up water and consume their own urine instead to help protect the environment. It has launched an advertising campaign to promote the cause, with local restaurants and bars encouraged to join in by selling "wee on tap". Some outlets are thought to be already selling glasses of fizzy wee for $3 a litre!
English tourist Alan Slash, drinking a glass of chilled piss with his meal, was all but supportive of the initiative, "What? I thought this was iced tea I was drinking. F*#king hell, JESUS!"
According to environmental pressure groups, they are convinced that drinking wee will help save the rain forests and help slow the desertification of Africa. Giles Backsplash, of environmental movement Greenwank, attempted to explain the logic of drinking urine, "we have absolutely no scientific basis for our conclusions but we are convinced that we are right and you are wrong." he said, "if you have any problems with the flavour we recommend adding a slice of lemon or cheese".
New Yorkers, who are coping with a summer heatwave, are divided on the merits of the campaign though A growing minority have had catheters fitted up their urethas and attached to tubes fed directly to their mouths so they can "drink on the go".
"Its a bit like in that film Dune isn't it", one man said last night, "you know, where they have special suits in the desert that let them drink their own piss and eat their own shit."