UnNews:New WTC plans beat terrorist to the punch
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
New WTC plans beat terrorist to the punch
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, October 1, 2016, 03:16:UTC)(
8 September 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
NEW YORK, New York -- Architects presented striking new visions for the World Trade Center site Thursday with designs for three more towers — including a diamond-shaped skyscraper — that would replace the twin towers with some of the city's tallest buildings that are already "pre-terrorized" as a slap in the face to any would-be attackers.
The designs unveiled Thursday joined plans for the 1,776-foot-tall "Eternal Flame" Tower skyscraper, and an 8-acre, highly flammable memorial surrounding the spots where the twin towers stood.
The three new towers would descend in height from the iconic Eternal Flame Tower in a spiral around the memorial, which sets twin reflecting pools of burning oil above the spots where the towers stood in a debris-filled plaza.
"These are some of the most stunning buildings you will see anywhere in the world," Gov. George Pataki said. "It does respect the sanctity of this entire site, while at the same time giving a big 'fuck you' to terrorists."
Architects Norman Foster and Richard Rogers, both of Britain, and Fumihiko Maki, of Japan, presented models of the towers at a news conference at developer Larry Silverstein's rebuilt 7 World Trade Center. A film showed the buildings' models from different angles while "There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" played in the background.
Foster designed the tallest of the three buildings — at 1,254 feet, taller than anything in the city except the Empire State Building. It appears to connect four narrow towers, topped by four shining diamonds that would be lit at night by raging fires.
Foster, who designed the Hearst Tower in Manhattan and used diamond patterns in his original "big fucking towers" proposal for the trade center site, called the diamonds a "beacon" that would anger viewers from any angle in the city.