UnNews:New Maddie suspect may be part of "four man" gang!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
New Maddie suspect may be part of "four man" gang!
We distort, you deride
Wednesday, May 27, 2015, 03:05 (UTC)
22 January 2008
THOUSANDS OF WITNESSES in the Madeleine McCann investigation have claimed to have seen the man shown in a new sketch of a potential suspect, it emerged yesterday. It is thought that he was seen multiple times "in the mid to late 60s" cavorting around on stage with three other suspicious looking men.
Alcoholic mad-woman Janet Mawkish, told police she saw a man carrying a "guitar shaped child" away from the McCanns' apartment, said she was "1.6% per cent sure" he was the one depicted in the artist's impression but also added that "I am clinically insane so I would take what I say with a pinch of pepper.".
Another witness, Amanda Milf, 34, from Basildon, Essex, claimed to have spotted a man with "three other shifty looking types". She described one as wearing "round glasses", another as "looking a bit like a tramp" and a third as "bouncing around wild eyed like he was off his nut on cocaine or something."
McCann spokesman, Dennis Neilson, said that the couple were cautious in raising their hopes in light of the latest news, "whilst this does grab the headlines we must remember that last months lead that a strutting big lipped gentleman thought to be called 'Mick' or 'Mike' was seen poncing around came to nothing."