UnNews:New Celebrity Themed Smoking Show
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New Celebrity Themed Smoking Show
We distort, you deride
Thursday, May 28, 2015, 22:15:UTC)(
23 June 2009
London, UK -- TV executive producers have announced plans to air an explosive new celebrity reality TV competition show. The show, which will air in the autumn, is aimed at raising awareness of smoking, smokers, smoking equipment and the limits of ones capacity to smoke. So what’s so special about this show? Well, every celebrity competitor has to have a smoking themed name. The celebrities will then be packed into a ‘hot box’ environment and forced to smoke continuously until they cannot smoke anymore, be this through asphyxiation, organ failure, vomiting or any other form induced by the constant smoke inhalation.
Amongst all the rumours, the following competitors announced to participate in the show include disgraced actor Chris Lambert, loud mouth rugby commentator Eddie Butler (Will Lambert and Butler team up?), footballer Nicky Butt and ‘surgery gone wrong’ victim, Leslie Ash. Competitors are not only fighting it out to raise awareness of the dangers of smoking around the clock in a hot-box environment but also stand the chance of winning a life times supply of paint and painting equipment.
‘I don’t even smoke,’ said Eddie Butler- ‘I don’t know how I’m going to cope.’ ‘mmmmwwww wwwmmw,’ added Leslie Ash, her abnormal lips struggling to pour forth nouns, verbs, prepositions and adjectives.
Other celebrities slated to appear include WWE wrestler William Regal, Crippled former World Boxing Champion, Smokin’ Joe Frazier, 90 year old music sensation Pete Seeger, and awful rapper Puff Daddy. Many are worried that if Pete Seeger were to compete he would literally die. The Uncyclopedia resident doctor, Brack Fingus, told us ‘Pete’s life would be in real danger, he’s had weak lungs ever since he sung ‘Where have all the flowers gone?’ back in 1962. For those who don't know, an audience member, not realising Pete's question to be rhetorical, threw a flower onto the stage accidentally striking Pete in the face. As he gasped for breath recovering from the shock he swallowed a flower petal that got trapped near his left lung, thus giving him chronic hay fever that has persisted until the present day. In other words, he’s not fit to be smoking!’
Outside media bets are 3/1 on Pete Seegar dying whilst in the hotbox and 1000/1 on him winning the hot-box competition. Outside bets are also being taken on possible guest appearances from Billie Piper and Julian Clary.