UnNews:New Bush Lie Machine Revs Up
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
12 February 2007
(Uncyc Press) On February 10th Pentagon officials "who insisted on anonymity as a condition of the briefing" revealed that underwear labeled in the Iranian language Farsi had been found on some Iraqi insurgents. The undergarments included boxer shorts, jockey straps, and Golden Goddess™ high-lift brassieres.
These are the same guys that claimed Saddam slept together with Osama bin Laden in a big brass bed, that Saddam had personally brought down the World Trade Center towers, that he had tried to buy loaves of Nigerian "lemon cake" with uranium icing, and that aluminum lawn-chair tubing found in Saddam's garden shed was meant for enriching Brie in order to make a brie bomb.
It's exactly the same pack of liars that brought us the Iraq intelligence failure.
Of course, Iran actually has good reason to worry about the threat of an aggressive and out-of-control superpower occupying the country right next door. By way of contrast, consider that said superpower went halfway around the world to find a "threat" to attack. It's not like Saddam Hussein was America's next-door neighbor.The US Congress, meanwhile, was still preparing to talk about whether they should allow themselves to talk about the Iraq war. Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Kentuckistan) said, "We don't want to say anything that might lead the Iraqi insurgents to think they are winning. They listen to every word we say, you know. I don't even fart when I'm in the Senate toilet because it might encourage the insurgents."
Independent observers, however, noted that the US congress is already just about as effective as a damp fart: they may stink a little, but they accomplish nothing.
With regard to the Iranian Directorate and its disinformation, it is expected that several years from now the Congress will hold solemn hearings on the 2007 intelligence failure on Iran. By then the lame-duck Bush administration will have bombed the hell out of the ancient Iranian city of Isfahan and ignited a region-wide anti-American war. A frowning Congress will sternly reprimand Eric Edelman and his crew for spreading lies; Edelman will by then have a high-dollar job at a neoconservative think-tank. He won't even notice Congress.
No one else will either.
On the Iranian Directorate:
On the Iran-insurgency link: