UnNews:Neil Armstrong's Lost Moon Speech
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Neil Armstrong's Lost Moon Speech
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, June 26, 2017, 07:10:UTC)(
4 June 2009
June 4th 2009. Houston.Texas. USA
For years the Armstrong claimed that he meant to say One Small Step for a Man..One Giant Leap for Mankind and Kangeroos but in fact only recently have researchers uncovered the text he was supposed to say when he emerged out the Lunar Module .
Hello and welcome to everyone on the moon. I know you were not expecting us but I have brought along my good friend Buzz Aldrin and we want to party like it is 1969.
We come in peace - sort of - so I hope you don't mind us leaving behind various articles from our home country of the United States of America. You might find some of them useful .. and then again may be not. We have also brought along a flag BUT DO NOT BE ALARMED. The United States isn't like the old European colonial empires - going round the world painting various places red , white, black,blue or yellow. Americans believe in equality for all so if you have your own moon flag, you are welcome to hoist it underneath ours.
So before we have to return in case our oxygen runs out, this is Astronaut Neil Armstrong saying 'goodbye' for now and that in due time we trust trade relations between our two worlds will go ahead as planned.
NASA says this speech was in Armstrong's space suit but tucked inside a envelope with a shopping list of items he was supposed to bring back from the Moon. When approached by news organisations , Armstrong denied he ever wrote the speech or said 'I Screwed up' . He suggested the speech may have been one written originally as a joke in case the lunar mission had to be cancelled and would have to be re-staged on a spare Hollywood film studio.
- AP/AFP/Reuters/Man in the Cafe