UnNews:Negroes expected to dominate Grammy awards
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Negroes expected to dominate Grammy awards
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, June 26, 2017, 03:52:UTC)(
7 December 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
LOS ANGELES, California -- Music industry mavens say this year's Grammy awards are likely to be won by a lot of black people and perhaps a couple of token hillbillies. Mary J. Blige, who is certainly black, was nominated for a leading eight Grammy awards on Thursday, including Album of the Year.
Other multiple nominees were the Dixie Chicks (the hillbillies), British newcomer James Blunt, Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, John Mayer, Prince, T.I., and the Black Eyed Peas' will.i.am. Of those, Timberlake and Mayer are Jewish, and not technically black, however Timberlake has appropriated Michael Jackson's old act, and Mayer plays the blues. So there you go.
Blige was nominated for Negro of the Year, Album of the Year, Record of the Year for "Be Without You" and Song of the Year for the same track.
With the continued fragmentation of the music industry due to to the emergence of online and satellite music distribution, this year's Grammy awards will be noted for the fact that most people with any musical sophistication at all have only a vague idea who the hell these nominees are, and have never heard their heavily-corporatized music.
"The Breakthrough" has been an awards magnet for Blige, which I guess means something. She took home nine trophies at the Billboard awards on Monday and grabbed a pair of American Music Awards last month.
Another big Billboard Awards winner, Chris Brown, was nominated for Best New Artist, along with Imogen Heap, Blunt, Corrine Bailey Rae and former "American Idol" winner Carrie Underwood (the other hillbilly).
The trophies for the 49th Annual Grammy Awards will be handed out at the ugly Staples Center in Los Angeles on Feb. 11.