UnNews:Nazi leader cleared of nazism
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
10 November 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
LEEDS, UK -- Adolph Griffin, leader of the British Nazi Party has been cleared on charges of nazism after a retrial at Leeds Crown Court. Herr Griffin, 46, from Whiteville had denied two charges of "being a bigoted racist fucktard". The completely impartial jury, made up of an equal mix of skinheads and London cabbies took two hours to deliberate before delivering a unanimous verdict of "
not giltee nott giulty knot gillty 'e never dun it, honest guv".
Griffin was charged in April 2005 after the BBC showed the secretly-filmed documentary Christ Almighty, Look At These Racist Lunatics in 2004. He stood to attention and gave a Nazi salute as the verdict was read. Outside court, Griffin addressed the crowd which had gathered.
He said: "What has just happened shows Tony Blair and the government and the BBC that they can take our taxes but they cannot take our hearts, they cannot take our tongues and they cannot make relatively straightforward charges stick to oily little shits like us. Es wird Zeit für Rache! Wir müssen die Juden ausrotten!"
During the trial, the jury heard extracts from a speech Mr Griffin made in the Jackboot Tavern in Bradford, on 19 January 2004, in which he described Asians as "those fucking brown bastards who we're going to wipe off the face of the earth" and said Muslims were turning Britain into a "land where if we're not careful, we'll be overrun with pigs and our bacon and pork chop industries will collapse".
In his closing argument, Nick Griffin's barrister said his client's words were part of a "campaign speech of an official and legitimate party, just like, for example, the National Socialist German Workers Party in the 1920's Weimar Republic".
Shortly after the trial, he was assassinated by a bunch of nazis, who clamed he wasn't "hardcore" enough.