UnNews:NYC gang sweep nets Sinaloa Dance Cartel
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
19 June 2014
NYC gang sweep nets Sinaloa Dance Cartel
Dozens of members of the notorious 'Sinaloa Dance Cartel' were arrested early Tuesday morning as federal and local investigators broke up what they said was an enthusiastic and dynamic cartel that runs a dance operation stetching north to Zouk, east to Rebar, and south as far as Club Twilo. Not captured was Dance Boss Alfredo "El Hoochie-Coochie" Sauza.
Members of the Sinaloa Dance Cartel have long imposed their will with acts of enrapt Flamenco as they freely moved diagonally near schools and playgrounds, and even boldly moved into Club Fabric downtown because of it's high ceilings and potential for exposure.
Nearly all of the 50 limber shimmyers were taken into custody were among many defendants named in Backstage West. Many hipsters remain at large two-stepping it about the city. Residents were warned to approach with caution, lest they risk suffering a serious be-bop.
The three-week investigation, dubbed Operation Jitterbug, focused on the dance gang that formed during the disco era and claims to currently control the neighborhoods at the intersection of Broadway and 42nd Street. The gang has been actively seeking new blood as evidenced by choreographing a recent hiring fair.
Police warned residents to be on the lookout and not get caught up in a quadrille, as they have been having trouble with the Sinaloa Dance Cartel lately.