UnNews:NATO mulls nuking Gaddafi compound
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
NATO mulls nuking Gaddafi compound
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, February 13, 2016, 09:21:UTC)(
9 June 2011
TRIPOLI, Libya -- With the assassination of Col. Muammar Gaddafi as yet unachieved even after months of Western and European bombardment, NATO commanders are getting increasingly more desperate to plunder his treasures.
In spite of NATO intensifying its air strikes on the compound of Gaddafi, which has so far been pummeled with millions of tons of high explosives, including the entire US arsenal of GBU-43/B MOAB bombs, still he remains very much unscathed and ever more defiant.
A tourist in Rapid City, South Dakota, who is unfamiliar with the entire operation told the media that the leaders of NATO are now considering a limited tactical nuclear strike on Gaddafi’s Tripoli compound as, perhaps, the only way to get him.
“So far they have spent billions of Dollars and Euros dropping more bombs on the Gaddafi compound than all the ordinance dropped during the entire Vietnam War,” the tourist pointed out. “For a mere one percent of all that expense they could have nuked the compound in the first place and achieved their objective to murder him and his baby grandchildren in the first go.”
Tourists are obviously not the only informed sources, as now a semi official Secretary to a French police captain told the media that the NATO high command planned to drop leaflets on Gaddafi’s totally obliterated compound warning him to come out with his hands up, otherwise France will nuke the pile of rubble.
French officials said they would most likely accomplish the task with a single TN 61 nuclear warhead delivered by an SSBS S3D IRBM missile. The leaflets will reportedly give Gaddafi 10 minutes to surrender before French President Carla Bruni gives the launch codes to her commanders to carry out Gaddafi’s nuclear assassination.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|