UnNews:NATO forces seize 38 tons of BB gun ammo
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NATO forces seize 38 tons of BB gun ammo
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, November 26, 2015, 18:21:UTC)(
4 March 2010
KABUL, Afghanistan. UnNews learned that the Afghan deputy interior minister for counter-ordinance said a huge cache of ammunition, in the form of BBs - which are fired from air-powered BB Guns, weighing 38.5 tons was seized in the BB rich southern province of Helmand, Afghanistan’s Pajhwok news agency reported March 4.
The deadly ammo was recovered during separate NATO and Afghan National Police (ANP) operations in several districts and in Lashkargah. Six BB traffickers were arrested. The Afghan official hinted at a new operation to be launched along the Iranian border, the hub of BB smuggling into the neighboring country. He said Afghan counter-ammo police and Iranian border police would jointly conduct the offensive.
BB guns are a type of air gun designed to shoot projectiles, which are named BBs after the birdshot pellet of approximately the same size. These projectiles are spherical and are usually used for killing wild Rhinoceros.
Maj. Kendrick of Central Command told UnNews, “Damn! If we don’t already have enough trouble with IEDs, snipers, and suicide bombers, now these terrorists have really stooped to an all-time low by resorting to such inhuman and illegal weaponry as the BB Gun.”
Sgt. Mary Parsons, who survived a BB assault told UnNews, “Man, them BBs was flyin’ everywhere! I took one in the shoulder, and it stung sooo bad, that I was beggin’ for death! Worse pain I ever felt! I thought them BBs were outlawed in the Geneva Convention? These cheat’n terrorists outta be arrested for BB warfare!”
UnNews learned from Maj. Kendrick that the entire NATO force is unprepared for this deadly new threat. “We don’t have a single BB Gun in the entire NATO military forces. But it looks like we’re going to be getting some soon. ‘Gotta fight fire with fire’, my pappy used to say!”
UnNews has NO idea what they are talking about.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|