UnNews:NATO buys NAFTA and bombs Libya with cheap Mexican knock-offs
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NATO buys NAFTA and bombs Libya with cheap Mexican knock-offs
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, September 28, 2016, 23:57:UTC)(
5 April 2011
MEXICO CITY, Mexico -- The NATO-NAFTA merger into NAFTO (North American Free Taco Organization) that occurred earlier this year has apparently caused waves not only on the economic status but of the Western Hemisphere, but apparently also on military endeavors. Last week, a trusted source in the Ciudad de Mejico reported that NAFTO had requested a large shipment of explosives, specifically smart bombs, from Mexican manufacturing companies.
In fact, those same Mexican industries have decided that there is much more money to be made in the WMD department, and has converted 95% of their sweat shops into fortified factories to meet the demand. NAFTO is in fact now receiving 15% of its weapons from Mexican
cartels suppliers. Meanwhile the unemployment rate there has dropped almost to the world standard. One woman had this to say: "For the first time in my life, I have a job! Can you believe it? A job." She then proceed to flash the interviewer while making suggestive comments. She appeared to be drunk.
Another major development is that in the past week, seven arms manufacturers located in Europe have gone bankrupt, as the countries they supply have outsourced them. Mexicans are also no longer crossing the border to Arizona, as they have no need to. Arizona is still hung over.
However, it seems that thirty percent of the bombs made are filled with confetti as the struggling pinata factory workers have failed to get the memo. Another fifty percent just bounce off the ground like those crap bouncy balls your grandmother bought you for Christmas, and the rest have "Insert Quarter and Twist" written on the side.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|