UnNews:NATO Jump Death Explained
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
5 December 2012
Brussels, Belgium -- New details have emerged regarding the shocking death today of Serbian diplomat Branislav Milinkovic in a Brussels parking garage. According to two colleagues of Mr. Milinkovic who witnessed the tragic incident, he had been chatting normally, even joking, when he casually strolled over to a barrier and leapt over it to his death.
Since then the burning question among NATO diplomatic circles is why a popular, well liked and effective diplomat like Milinkovic would take his own life in such a bizarre fashion.
The answer, it has now been revealed, was a botched trampoline delivery. It seems that Mr. Milinkovic had no intention of killing himself and had instead planned to leap over the barrier and then bounce back up and wave to his stunned colleagues with a big smile on his face.
However, this harmless prank went terribly wrong when trampoline delivery man, Gekkehuis Zeldenthuis, mistakenly delivered the trampoline to another garage across the street. "I'm simply mortified," Zeldenthuis told a reporter, "This has never happened to me before. As far as I know, well...no, this never happened before, I definitely would have heard about it."
Rotmensen Trampoline Emporium, Mr. Zeldenthuis's employer, has expressed its regret over the incident, and offered free trampolines to the entire Serbian delegation at NATO headquarters.
- "Officials: Serbia's NATO ambassador leaps to death". Yahoo News, December 05, 2012