UnNews:NASCAR to reprimand Drivers' girlfriends
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NASCAR to reprimand Drivers' girlfriends
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, August 27, 2015, 22:25:UTC)(
12 April 2006
Concord, NC NASCAR officals will reprimand girlfriends of Kurt Busch and Greg Biffle. The reprimand will be due to a confrontation between Eva Brian and Nicole Lunders after Busch slammed Biffle's ass at Texas Motor Speedway last Sunday.
The penalty will be driving at minimum speed (mach 2.1) naked around Lowe's Motor Speeway in Charlotte, NC. When asked about the penalty Lunders responded, "well i'm not really into Eva and her dog, but whatever it takes to get her ass back, i'm all into that". Brian replied, "well, I really dont think my rack can fit into one of those cars, but I'll give it a try".
Lowe's Track President Humpy Wheeler, will moderate the event from high above the track watching on his extreme closeup television. The looser of the event will give lap dances to renown crewchief "Fatback" McSwain, and noted Driver Robby Gordon.
Danica Patrick, Indy Racing Leagues resident hottie, was asked to join the event, but she declined saying, "I'm all about the bling and geting naked, but i'm not really into NASCAR".
When reporters asked Brian (Busch's girlfriend) about whether she will don safety devices for the race she responded, "No Kurt doesn't use condoms and i'm not on the pill or anything".
Both drivers, Brian and Lunders will drive Hooters sponsored cars, because both have some remarkable racks, the event will take place this Saturday, admission is a 250 dollar fee, Those who have Mullets, seen smoking Marlboro Reds, and drinking Busch beer before the race will be free.