UnNews:NASA unveils detailed map of Antarctica, lost city "suspiciously obscured by clouds"
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NASA unveils detailed map of Antarctica, lost city "suspiciously obscured by clouds"
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 01:04:UTC)(
29 November 2007
HOUSTON, Texas -- Scientists at NASA have recently released the most detailed map of Antarctica ever. NASA's Landsat 7 satellite took 10,000 photographs of the continent over a period of two years, from 1979 to 2001. 1,100 pictures were chosen to form the mosaic map. Officially titled the Landsat Image Mosaic of Antarctica (LIMA), the map reveals Antarctica's geography in high definition and with accurate colors such as periwinkle blue. Details as small as half the size of a basketball court are visible.
However, the images have stirred quite a bit of controversy concerning what some say are "censored" regions, specifically what appears to be a large basin surrounded by enormous mountains. In NASA's images, the entire region is "suspiciously obscured by clouds," says Miskatonic University's geology professor William Dyer. "Our expedition to Antarctica a few years ago included a small investigation of said basin, and the discovery was shocking." Dyer claims that his expedition discovered an ancient city which was once inhabited by aliens he calls the "great race." Under mysterious circumstances, they were fangoriously wiped out by gelatinous monsters known as "Shoggoths."
Most experts maintain that Dyer is bat fuck insane, but reluctantly point to NASA's known censorship of satellite images, particularly the large penis shaped cloud over what everybody knows is obviously Area 51.
- Dr William Dyer "Nothing to see here...". Miskatonic University Press, November 28, 2007
- Howard Phillips Lovecraft "Dyer is a nutter". BBC, November 28, 2007
Also a city shaped as a penus has been discovered in the Hogwarts region and is now confirmed that a male human boned a hot Asian chick.