UnNews:NASA agrees to attach a billboard to their next space shuttle
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NASA agrees to attach a billboard to their next space shuttle
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, January 23, 2017, 23:25:UTC)(
29 August 2007
FLORIDA -- When the American space shuttle Discovery launches into space this coming October, it will have a large billboard attached, thanks to a multi-million dollar deal NASA recently made with an internet pornography corporation.
"You see, up to now, very few companies have realized the advertising potential of outer space," says NASA representative Tina Blouter, "But people are just starting to realize now how aliens may be watching us at all times. Millions of people looking at your billboard through a telescope means big bucks."
The billboard is for "Teenboobies.com", and is roughly the size of the space shuttle. "This is only the beginning" says the same NASA representative, "Our engineers are currently working on a way to make a working space shuttle that's covered from top to bottom with posters for penis enhancement pills, car insurance policies, and furniture stores, much like you'd expect to see at a NASCAR race. We've also repurposed the VLA radio telescope array to transmit spam E-mails about free prescription medications into outer space, so they can be received by even the most distant of clients."
As part of this ambitious new space advertising campaign, NASA has announced plans for another mission to the Moon, (recently renamed the GoldenPalace.com Lucky Sky Orb). However, instead of planting an American Flag there, astronauts will begin construction on a series of billboards and large, neon advertisements that will completely cover the moon by 2028, and will easily be visible to any small-penised alien within 200,000 light-years of Earth.
According to NASA's Verizon Wireless Space Exploration Team spokesperson: "We are hoping to see a future in which every space creature, no matter how slimy, can have the opportunity to purchase a Tempur-pedic mattress."
- Robert Z. Pearlman "NASA Shuttle to Launch Luke Skywalker's Lightsaber". Yahoo News, August 28, 2007