UnNews:Myanmar Sinks Aid Boat
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Myanmar Sinks Aid Boat
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, November 25, 2015, 09:08:UTC)(
12 May 2008
Today at 10:30 am Myanmar successfully stopped a Humanitarian Red Cross boat with 1,000 tons of desparately needed supplies from reaching the shores of their impovershed and proud nation. After recieving a cache of ten-thousand guns and artillery on the assault known as 'Atlantic Storm', Myanmar fought bravely and in vain against the atroucious weather. In response, the League of Nations sent help and hope to the suffering people of Myanmar. In a counter-maneuver, navy ships immediately set out to crush the pity of a thousand other nations. In addition to food, water, and general human kindness- 80 orphans and 600 puppies were on board to raise the already extinct spirits of Myanmar. Experts speculate that when the Red Cross Aid Boat, or NAMBLA, was sunk- fires on board raised the temperatures ever so slowly to temperatures of 500 degress over a 15 miute period. At this rate: the pain on board would have been so intense- that those who still had legs to jump with would have do so only to be torn to shreds by the vicious man-eating sharks and giant squid.
- In other news, Myanmar has a Navy.