UnNews:My cheating wife pays
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
20 July 2008
MY BASEMENT, None of yur damn busynus - Dat bitch ain't gonna do dat no mor, I tell you wat! Dat bitch was fuckin' my brother! MY BROTHER! What tha hell wood you do? Don't look at me dat wai. It ain't da firs' time dat bitch dun did it, nithar! Dat slut.
I tell ya wat! You kaint trust no womerns. Day all lyin' bitches. You cane quoteterize me on dat. They alwayz be doin' all tieps of shit. Stealin' yer keys and lockin' you out of yur house, drinkin' YUR liquor, accusin' you of "cheatin' on dem with a turtle in tha shed", all tipes of shit! Den, if dat weren't enuff, they expect you ta go ta tha damn store an' purchase dem tampons fer 'em! HELL NAW! I'ma man! I ain't doin' dat!
I cannot beleever dat slut expects me ta do dat type o' shit! Wood you? Hell naw, you wood ain't! Den, tha lil' slut calls up da sheriff far "domestic vi-o-linse"! I had ta spend da weekend in prison! They don't keep men in holdin' ovar da weekend here, I tell ya what! Den, I get sended dere fer anuthar 13 years aftar thare trial!
When I finally break out, dat whore dun had a kid! An' gotted a nu husband, too! Oh, and it wuz my brother, too! Aparantly, he's a "good" man, while I'm jus a' drunk! I'll have you no I ain't had but three drinks todai! That's good fur dis early in da morn'! Buy now, I usually caint stand up rite! Dat bitch should B prouded of my progless!
Oh, an' speakin' 'bout buyin', who got dem battares for hur cassette playar?!? ME! Dat slut don't even use it, ineway, but I still got dem fur hur! Hell, I got hur da damn cassette playar in da firs' place, two! Dat whore didn't not once thank me!
Oh, but I ain't gonna let hur get awai no morr! Hell no! Dat slut iz payin' tanite! An' you get a front seat!
|You?!? Oh my god! HELP!!! Somebody help me!!!|
|Hands up! Drop the gun!|
- Benton Quest "Man Kills Wife During Botched Satellite TV Installation: "At least I me my CineMax, finally!"". Switched, July 20, 2008
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|