UnNews:My bracket is busted
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
My bracket is busted
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, January 18, 2017, 22:37:UTC)(
17 March 2011
TAMPA BAY, Florida -- It's that time of year again, that holy time that usually falls in the middle of march, March Madness. Today marked the beginning of the second round of play for the annual NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, and the beginning of the part of the tournament that America cares about.
University of North Carolina at Asheville opened the actual tournament on Tuesday with a win in overtime, 81-77. UNC-Asheville defeated opponent 16 seed, University of Arkansas at Little Rock, earning themselves the honor of being slaughtered by 1 seed, the Pittsburgh Panthers two days later.
But the real story here took place last week during the Ivy League Conference final, where the Princeton Tigers defeated odds-on favorite to win, Harvard Crimson, robbing them of a spot in the NCAA Tournament, and robbing the Ohio State Buckeyes as my NCAA champion.
I originally had planned to have the number one seed in the country, and my own Alma Mater, Ohio State, defeating the Duke Blue Devils in the championship round. After seeing the Ivy League Conference championship game, I began to reconsider this choice. "Ohio State has been on top all season, they are bound to slip up soon," I posted on my blog Saturday night after the game, "Who's to say it won't be against Princeton?"
Since Duke and Princeton ended up on the same side of the Bracket, I decided it was most likely that Princeton would go up against the Louisville Cardinals in the final round. I was heavily criticized on my blog, and at work for the next few days, but I held strong to my decision. Cries of "no one picks a 13 seed to win!" could be heard throughout the office, while jeers of "LOL U SOOO RETARDED" and "fucking moron, Kentucky epic wins!" were splattered across the comments section of my blog. But still I persisted.
Today, by 5:30 eastern time, I was weeping over a garbage can as I ripped apart my sad excuse of a bracket. Brandon Knight, star freshman from Kentucky went the entire game without scoring a single point. Princeton was essentially in the clear, but no, Mr. Knight decided it was time to play basketball just two seconds before the game would go into overtime, giving Princeton a safe five extra minutes to rack up the points. The shot goes up, the shot goes in, a part of my soul dies.
First day of the tournament and my bracket is already busted. That has got to be a record of some kind.
And just to rub salt in the wound, I find out right afterward that Louisville was upset by Morehead State.
When does baseball season start?
- "Princeton KO's Harvard on last-second jumper to earn NCAA bid". ESPN, March 12, 2011
- Sam Westmoreland "Brandon Knight: Kentucky Guard Sinks Plucky Princeton with Late Layup". Bleacher Report, March 17, 2011