Moussaoui turns State's Evidence

Straight talk, from straight faces

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17 November 2014

Zacarias Moussaoui

The "Barney Fife of al-Qaeda" is looking good in orange and is ready to testify.

NEW YORK -- Zacarias Moussaoui, the notorious "20th hijacker" of the September 11 attacks, now wants to testify for the U.S. Government in civil suits about the terrorist attack.

The so-called Insane Sheik, now serving a life sentence without parole at the Super-max prison in the mountains of Colorado, has written to federal prosecutors and has sent them his entire Hello Kitty diary, in which he has written that Saudi Arabia bankrolled the attack in which planes were flown into a strategic hilltop in western Pennsylvania and assorted other landmarks.

Although prosecutors do not know Moussaoui's motives for offering the information, nor anything else than that no federal judge is likely to believe anything he would say, teams of lawyers have flown to Colorado to interview him and maybe get some skiing in.

The self-styled "Slave of Allah" was out of commission on September 11, as a Minnesota flight instructor was alarmed when Moussaoui paid his tuition with $100 bills and asked to begin his training on a Boeing 747 and "test out" of the takeoffs-and-landings lesson. His detention by Immigration denied the suicide teams a perfect season, as they would only go 19-for-20 (.950). He was in custody on September 11, as prosecutors unsuccessfully tried to get permission to search his laptop for information on possible terrorist attacks, and he is viewed as a key reason why the U.S. now no longer detains suspicious foreigners at all, but rather issues cash cards from the Department of Agriculture to keep them from having to wait for stipends to arrive from Riyadh.


Moussaoui's court proceedings, in which he repeatedly tried to fire his lawyers and pretend to be insane, were the only comic relief in 2002, a year spent passing anti-terrorism legislation to sift through Americans' bank records and feel them up at airports.

For its part, lawyers for Saudi Arabia have filed court papers stating that, "The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia had no role in the attacks of September 11, 2001." The filing insists that the thousands of government-funded Wahhabi mosques teaching children to hate the West are merely exercising their rights under the First Amendment.

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