UnNews:Mouse Exsanguinated by GM Plant
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Mouse Exsanguinated by GM Plant
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, June 28, 2016, 08:02:UTC)(
5 December 2007
edit Mouse Exsanguinated by Genetically Modified Crops
Scientists were shocked yesterday as they observed a mouse being attacked by their plants. The plants were manufactured in an attempt to reduce the amount of pesticide needed to remain profitable.
The mouse had walked across the soil containing the genetically modified crops, when Mr. Zantosa observed the root of a tomato plant break the soil and coil around the mouse. The root pierced the skin of the mouse, and the root visibly went red while the mouse was being drained. Mr. Zantosa, a genetic engineer, said, “It definitely looked healthier after that.”
It is not clear why the mutation in the plant occurred, but Mr. Zantosa said that it was lucky the rodent escaped from its cage or, “A major tragedy involving the lives of hundreds of farmers would have occurred.” He did not state why or how the mouse escaped, but they claim that the rodent was not part of an experiment.
Jeremy Smyth, a member of a pressure group against genetically modified crops said, “This is an atrocity. The memories of similar incidents have not yet faded, and the incidents keep on multiplying. How long until it’s not a mouse that’s the victim?” The government, in response to this, has launched an inquiry into the cloning labs of Umbrella Corporation.
The mouse did not survive.