UnNews:More than 200 arrested at DC protest
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More than 200 arrested at DC protest
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 22:48:UTC)(
16 September 2007
DC shoes headquarters - thousands of protesters clashed with police in anti war protests.
Today, a group of antiwar protesters surround the DC shoes headquarters in Vista, California in protest against the owners of DC Shoes, Ken Block and Damon Way, sending hundreds of footsoldiers to join the war effort in Iraq. The soldiers, who are part of Damon Way's private army, were being loaded into people smuggling lorries as the protesters arrived, holding signs promoting DC's deadly rivals, the Converse Chuck Norris All Star. Many protesters were carrying weapons paid for by Converse, and were joined by Chuck Norris, Chuck Taylor, Cthulu's Unholy army, and a squadron of Emo Battle Clones, armed with deadly CD (Clinical Depression) Vinyl Launchers.
DC's, mistaking this for a small riot, summoned the police, and within 10 mins, 500 riot gear policemen arrived on the scene. However, Block and Way quickly realised their mistake and sent out the remainder of their army, led by Damon Way's skateboarding brother, Danny Way. They immediately put up barricades, and soon a huge firefight broke out.
edit The Battle
As the battle commenced, both sides exchanged fire, and the DC army suffered heavy casulties, the Emo Battle Clones taking down many policemen and soldiers. Soon it had come to a stalemate, with both sides entirely in cover. Chuck Norris decided something must be done, and with Cthulu's Unholy Army flanking DC's on both sides, and Chuck Taylor slam dunking grenade after grenade into the DC lines, Norris lead the remaining Emo Battle Clones through the middle of the riot police. It seemed that Norris was about to win the battle, but suddenly the ghost of Kurt Cobain appeared. Chuck sighted his old enemies soul, and chased it, with Cthulu's Army close behind him (for they wished to claim the soul for their master).
More misfortune hit the protesters as one of the Emo Battle Clones remembered there was a Get Up Kids concert. The remaining Clones left the battle field, and left Taylor and the protesters to fend for themselves. In less than a minute the battle had turned, and Chuck Taylor gave the order to retreat.
The remaining DC soldiers left the battlefield, and the Riot Police chased the fleeing protesters, arresting 212. Chuck Taylor is still at large
Windrangers 10:26, 16 September 2007 (UTC)
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