UnNews:More UK "Jihadists" needed, says Blair
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!|
4 June 2007
In a surprising statement British PM, Tony Blair declared that he wants more Muslim terrorists trained in UK universities, to reduce reliance on Islamic fundamentalists from overseas. There are concerns that terrorists from another country may not understand British society or speak good English.
His speech comes after fears were raised that moderate Islamic preachers were seen to be publicly encouraging tolerance and peace amongst all men. Blair was most adamant about these Preachers of Non-Hate, "the danger of Islam being perceived as a largely peaceful and tolerant religion, which it clear as day is not, must be allayed.", he said.
The Prime Minister also pledged a £1m boost for Islamic Terrorism studies at university after a report criticized the quality of teaching. He told a London conference politicians must listen to extremist Islamic voices. Among those attending the two-day conference are clerics including the Grand Mufty of Egypt, Sheik Sharmuta Bin Kalb, and the Grand Floppsi Nob of Bosnia, Mustafa In al Abook.
In a speech at the conference, hosted by Cambridge University, Mr Blair said his ambition was that more terrorists and religious zealots could be trained in the UK. He also said British politicians must listen harder to the "frenzied voice of madness and holy terror" of the majority of the country's Muslims.
"Those willing to articulate extreme and violent views should be encouraged in this modern world of tolerance and inclusion. We must not be seen to offend these people, that would be to venture towards the slippery slope of racist fascism!" he bellowed.
Blair said the conference had been organized to "let the angry voices of Islam, in their various schools and manifestations, speak for themselves and to encourage the righteous destruction of the devils of the West!".
"The voices of moderate Muslims as representative of Islam as the use in times gone by of torture, using such apparatus as the Metal Bollock Spike or Rusty Arse Screw, to force conversion to Christianity."
"We must ensure that moderate Islam is marginalized and sidelined as a mere mouthpiece of Bush and his puppet Blair (me)" Tony Blair proclaimed to the conference yesterday.
The outgoing Prime Minister also called for closer links between UK Islamic Mujahadeen training camps and mainstream British education. He also announced £1m for British universities which teach Islamic jihadist courses - which he said, "ought to be re-designed to encourage extremism and the ongoing war against the infidels of the West,".
Elsewhere Deputy PM John Prescott defecated on the Pope whilst singing "Fog on the Tyne".